10-31-2004, 01:29 PM
In the spirit of all the recent obsession with rankings and comparing 'old' vs 'new' Hip, I thought it might be preposterous fun to do a head-to-head battle between IBE and Road Apples. I know this is self-indulgent but I'm hoping it provokes some argument, so LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUMBLE!!!!!!!!!
IN THIS CORNER WEARING THE RED TRUNKS, THE WILY VETERAN ROAD APPLES.
AAAAAndD IN THIS CORNER IN YELLOW, THE CHALLENGER, IBE.
1. Little Bones vs Heaven.
LB: A classic rave-up, ferocious chorus, and some social commentary to boot.
Heaven: Layered lyric, but a largely unconvincing track. One of their weaker openers.
WINNER: BONES, BY KO.
SCORE: 1-0 Road Apples.
2. Twist My Arm vs Summer is Killing Us.
Twist: The Hip's ultimate gutbucket number. Entertaining lyrics; no tune to speak of.
Summer: A thoroughly demented send-up of the 'band complains about its job' genre in which Downie pushes more envelopes than Canada Post.
WINNER: SUMMER, ON POINTS.
SCORE: 1-1.
3. Cordelia vs Gus.
Cordelia: Another famous rave-up. Very strong lyrics and some of Downie's wackiest vocals.
Gus: Menacing study of psychosis combining great groove and lyrics that double as an attack on American imperialism.
WINNER: a draw.
SCORE: 2-2.
4. Luxury vs Vaccination Scar.
Luxury: a wonderful, slow-burning fuse and an early sign that this band is more than just balls-to-the-wall music. Great character sketch ('Zoo Lion').
Scar: terrific guitar work, magnificent lyrics. All that's missing is a compelling melody.
WINNER: The Luxury by TKO.
SCORE: 3-2 Road Apples.
5. Born in the Water vs Nashville.
Water: pedestrian rocker with a rather clumsy crack at Canada's language wars.
Nashville: stomping rhythm section, nice chorus and a sharp potshot at Bush's America.
WINNER: Nashville by KO.
SCORE: 3-3.
6. Long Time Running vs If new Orleans is Beat.
Running: powerful portrait of a young lover being pressed into commitment before his time. Simple, poignant guitar enhances the great lyric. If the world made any sense this would be rated a rock and roll classic.
INOIB: rather busy melody-line encompassing an elegant rumination on both the decline of America and the possible decline of the band itself. Great lyrical play on their signature tune.
WINNER: Running by TKO...barely.
SCORE: 4-3 Road Apples.
7. Bring It All Back vs You're Everywhere.
Bring It: a neat lyric with a suitably obsessive musical structure. Nice opportunity for Baker to stretch out a bit on guitar.
You're Everywhere: one of the Hip's finest moments, with an impassioned vocal, haunting lyric, cool progression and perfectly-pitched guitar work.
WINNER: Everywhere by KO.
SCORE: 4-4.
8. Three Pistols vs Makeshift.
Pistols: Does it get much more kick-ass than this? Perhaps Gord's single most warped recorded vocal performance. Great lyric against a primitive rock backdrop.
Makeshift: Similarly anthemic chords back one of the band's catchiest choruses and tight, enigmatic lyrics. Vocals mixed too low.
WINNER: Hoo boy. I'll call it a draw.
SCORE: 5-5.
9. Fight vs Mean Streak.
Fight: straightforward, serviceable song that could have been written by any number of average-to-good bands.
Mean Streak: a strange, complex, and disturbing play on western motifs, with a deadly, on-target vocal that still manages somehow to kick ass. Menacing as only the Hip can be.
WINNER: Mean Streak by KO.
SCORE: 6-5 IBE.
10. On the Verge vs Heart of the Melt.
Verge: hugely fun lyrics with a blistering vocal. Run-of-the-mill melody, but a good rave-up.
Melt: features about 30 seconds of the most savagely orgasmic guitar- work on any Hip CD (the final bars), hair-raising chorus ('dorsal fin') and a truly memorable, spine-tingling vocal. Are you kidding me?
WINNER: Melt by KO.
Score: 7-5 IBE.
11. Fiddler's Green vs Copanhagen.
Green: a gorgeous, heartfelt lyric and arguably one of their best pieces of songwriting. Great, soulful vocal: a classic (and unfortunately rare) example of the Hip as muscular folk-country band.
Copanhagen: a favourite in some circles; one of Downie's finest poems is set to a repetitive melody that quickly palls.
WINNER: Green by KO.
Score: 7-6 IBE.
12. Last of the Unplucked Gems vs Are We Family
Gems: a neat little construction with an unexpectedly Beatlesque sound and deviously clever lyric. Hints at an unheralded musical versatility.
Are We Family: terrific play on Sister Sledge cliche. Thundering rhythm section keeps the tune out of 'airy-fairy' territory; a unique sonic landscape for this band and, for that reason alone---plus catchiness and its much-needed lyrical sentiment---should have been a US single.
WINNER: a draw.
Score: 8-7 IBE.
13. Goodnight Josephine.
An extra track that could be considered an unfair advantage over Road Apples, but this is a very memorable tune. Nice shift in tone from the mild verse into the bridge, and a powerful lyric.
WINNER: Jospehine by default. But probably would have won anyway.
Score: 9-7 IBE.
THE WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION...
IN BETWEEN EVOLUTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:mrgreen:
IN THIS CORNER WEARING THE RED TRUNKS, THE WILY VETERAN ROAD APPLES.
AAAAAndD IN THIS CORNER IN YELLOW, THE CHALLENGER, IBE.
1. Little Bones vs Heaven.
LB: A classic rave-up, ferocious chorus, and some social commentary to boot.
Heaven: Layered lyric, but a largely unconvincing track. One of their weaker openers.
WINNER: BONES, BY KO.
SCORE: 1-0 Road Apples.
2. Twist My Arm vs Summer is Killing Us.
Twist: The Hip's ultimate gutbucket number. Entertaining lyrics; no tune to speak of.
Summer: A thoroughly demented send-up of the 'band complains about its job' genre in which Downie pushes more envelopes than Canada Post.
WINNER: SUMMER, ON POINTS.
SCORE: 1-1.
3. Cordelia vs Gus.
Cordelia: Another famous rave-up. Very strong lyrics and some of Downie's wackiest vocals.
Gus: Menacing study of psychosis combining great groove and lyrics that double as an attack on American imperialism.
WINNER: a draw.
SCORE: 2-2.
4. Luxury vs Vaccination Scar.
Luxury: a wonderful, slow-burning fuse and an early sign that this band is more than just balls-to-the-wall music. Great character sketch ('Zoo Lion').
Scar: terrific guitar work, magnificent lyrics. All that's missing is a compelling melody.
WINNER: The Luxury by TKO.
SCORE: 3-2 Road Apples.
5. Born in the Water vs Nashville.
Water: pedestrian rocker with a rather clumsy crack at Canada's language wars.
Nashville: stomping rhythm section, nice chorus and a sharp potshot at Bush's America.
WINNER: Nashville by KO.
SCORE: 3-3.
6. Long Time Running vs If new Orleans is Beat.
Running: powerful portrait of a young lover being pressed into commitment before his time. Simple, poignant guitar enhances the great lyric. If the world made any sense this would be rated a rock and roll classic.
INOIB: rather busy melody-line encompassing an elegant rumination on both the decline of America and the possible decline of the band itself. Great lyrical play on their signature tune.
WINNER: Running by TKO...barely.
SCORE: 4-3 Road Apples.
7. Bring It All Back vs You're Everywhere.
Bring It: a neat lyric with a suitably obsessive musical structure. Nice opportunity for Baker to stretch out a bit on guitar.
You're Everywhere: one of the Hip's finest moments, with an impassioned vocal, haunting lyric, cool progression and perfectly-pitched guitar work.
WINNER: Everywhere by KO.
SCORE: 4-4.
8. Three Pistols vs Makeshift.
Pistols: Does it get much more kick-ass than this? Perhaps Gord's single most warped recorded vocal performance. Great lyric against a primitive rock backdrop.
Makeshift: Similarly anthemic chords back one of the band's catchiest choruses and tight, enigmatic lyrics. Vocals mixed too low.
WINNER: Hoo boy. I'll call it a draw.
SCORE: 5-5.
9. Fight vs Mean Streak.
Fight: straightforward, serviceable song that could have been written by any number of average-to-good bands.
Mean Streak: a strange, complex, and disturbing play on western motifs, with a deadly, on-target vocal that still manages somehow to kick ass. Menacing as only the Hip can be.
WINNER: Mean Streak by KO.
SCORE: 6-5 IBE.
10. On the Verge vs Heart of the Melt.
Verge: hugely fun lyrics with a blistering vocal. Run-of-the-mill melody, but a good rave-up.
Melt: features about 30 seconds of the most savagely orgasmic guitar- work on any Hip CD (the final bars), hair-raising chorus ('dorsal fin') and a truly memorable, spine-tingling vocal. Are you kidding me?
WINNER: Melt by KO.
Score: 7-5 IBE.
11. Fiddler's Green vs Copanhagen.
Green: a gorgeous, heartfelt lyric and arguably one of their best pieces of songwriting. Great, soulful vocal: a classic (and unfortunately rare) example of the Hip as muscular folk-country band.
Copanhagen: a favourite in some circles; one of Downie's finest poems is set to a repetitive melody that quickly palls.
WINNER: Green by KO.
Score: 7-6 IBE.
12. Last of the Unplucked Gems vs Are We Family
Gems: a neat little construction with an unexpectedly Beatlesque sound and deviously clever lyric. Hints at an unheralded musical versatility.
Are We Family: terrific play on Sister Sledge cliche. Thundering rhythm section keeps the tune out of 'airy-fairy' territory; a unique sonic landscape for this band and, for that reason alone---plus catchiness and its much-needed lyrical sentiment---should have been a US single.
WINNER: a draw.
Score: 8-7 IBE.
13. Goodnight Josephine.
An extra track that could be considered an unfair advantage over Road Apples, but this is a very memorable tune. Nice shift in tone from the mild verse into the bridge, and a powerful lyric.
WINNER: Jospehine by default. But probably would have won anyway.
Score: 9-7 IBE.
THE WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION...
IN BETWEEN EVOLUTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:mrgreen:
:lol:
