[LoftyPines]

This is my fav. From Regina 2002.

I wanted to bring a whale to Regina. Told me you've never seen one. I wanted to bring a whale on a flatbed truck to Regina. Have you ever seen one? And this is September and the nights are getting cold and man this whale did not hold. We had a trail of seagulls from B.C. following our whale truck, our whale odyssey to the prairies. That's right. We had to portage the wet whale like you just saw me doing, paddling a giant barge up the Hudson's river. We got a little off course. We got the whale to Regina for everyone to see. They came out of their houses, probably just out of curiosity. Turns out most people had seen a whale a few had seen a couple. We had a good plan but its execution wasn't quite subtle. We left the whale here and we were hounded to this day. By angry citizens asking us to take that god damned whale away and they haven't been able to catch us until this day and you got yourself some nice fossilized remains. And the third largest creature on the planet, the Humpback whale, I caught it myself and dragged it up here by the tail.

Do you happen to have that on mp3??? I would love to hear that. That is solid gord/gold! Hillarious.

[LoftyPines]

Courage, where were you? You were supposed to be here an hour ago? Where were you?.....Damm you courage...oh, there you are, I didn't realize you were right there...Come on in, can I get you a rye and ginger courage??

Not too sure which show it is from. But there is another where is is talking to courage... maybe winnepegg 2000 or 2002. And he says to Courage

"courage, if you can't be good looking you can atleast be on time!"

Love it...

[tiger2375]

its gotta be the rants on the another roadside attraction show july 18/95 in winnipeg aka assionibia downs or possibly the feb 16 95 show had some really good ones too bad no bootleg around

[sherpahigh]

This is my fav. From Regina 2002.

I wanted to bring a whale to Regina. Told me you've never seen one. I wanted to bring a whale on a flatbed truck to Regina. Have you ever seen one? And this is September and the nights are getting cold and man this whale did not hold. We had a trail of seagulls from B.C. following our whale truck, our whale odyssey to the prairies. That's right. We had to portage the wet whale like you just saw me doing, paddling a giant barge up the Hudson's river. We got a little off course. We got the whale to Regina for everyone to see. They came out of their houses, probably just out of curiosity. Turns out most people had seen a whale a few had seen a couple. We had a good plan but its execution wasn't quite subtle. We left the whale here and we were hounded to this day. By angry citizens asking us to take that god damned whale away and they haven't been able to catch us until this day and you got yourself some nice fossilized remains. And the third largest creature on the planet, the Humpback whale, I caught it myself and dragged it up here by the tail.

Do you happen to have that on mp3??? I would love to hear that. That is solid gord/gold! Hillarious.

pretty sure that's out there in circulation. In fact I'm sure I've got a copy of the DVD. No burner though.

[direwolf74]

Not really a rant, but the Millennium countdown with him destroying the balloons just cracks me up.

That was quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen Gord do. And then right after he pops the last balloon, he says: "This isn't rock n' roll. This is genocide." Absolutely classic!

[direwolf74]

This is my fav. From Regina 2002.

I wanted to bring a whale to Regina. Told me you've never seen one. I wanted to bring a whale on a flatbed truck to Regina. Have you ever seen one? And this is September and the nights are getting cold and man this whale did not hold. We had a trail of seagulls from B.C. following our whale truck, our whale odyssey to the prairies. That's right. We had to portage the wet whale like you just saw me doing, paddling a giant barge up the Hudson's river. We got a little off course. We got the whale to Regina for everyone to see. They came out of their houses, probably just out of curiosity. Turns out most people had seen a whale a few had seen a couple. We had a good plan but its execution wasn't quite subtle. We left the whale here and we were hounded to this day. By angry citizens asking us to take that god damned whale away and they haven't been able to catch us until this day and you got yourself some nice fossilized remains. And the third largest creature on the planet, the Humpback whale, I caught it myself and dragged it up here by the tail.

LOL! That's awesome!

[chives]

"the bottom of the boots, touched the top of the grass, as the empty hay wagon went past, making the ssssssssh sound, you know, the sssssssh sound"

[chives]

can't forget Syracuse 2000, when the guy in the crowd was giving GD the finger all night, and during Poets, GD goes off, telling the guy..."we can't go on like this, where's your young friend Castro?, this is how Milosevic started out...." Classic stuff

[prz]

Ottawa 93 when he starts yelling about vengence and mentions Kennedy, Hoffa, Mulroney, Trudeau and others. He sound crazy belting that out.

[writingonthewall]

I'm a lighthouse keeper,
Tonite Im like a lighthouse keeper,
I pushed the button what do you think I did,
CNN all over the place, camera's movie crews,my life story I'm a millionaire, Im a multi milionaire.

Just a few snipits from the best rant/story Ive ever heard

[writingonthewall]

I'm the 8th biggest hip fan ever!!!!!!

[lord brazle]

1988 - Live cover of Gloria.... (probably the earliest rant)

I got a friend who's sitting here on the rail with his hands to the north and his legs to the south and tube-socks in his mouth And I looked for a knife and I couldn't find one And I said, "Rock, I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry." But that train was so close I could feel the heat and it was getting closer and there was nothing I could do cuz the harder I pulled on those knots, the tighter they got and he just sat there smoking. smoking. smoking. smoking. the train! smoking. the train! smoking. AAAhhhhhhhhh!

[PSUHipFan]

The burning church rant in the beginning of Fire in the Hole... intense! On quite a few boots.

[direwolf74]

The burning church rant in the beginning of Fire in the Hole... intense! On quite a few boots.

Ever hear the one from the Grape Jam '98 where he's going on about the burning church, forest-dwelling creatures, bilbo Baggins and invisible dogs? It's classic. The band is going absolutely nuts behind him, playing some kind of freaked out wall-of-noise intro and Gord is just belting out all kinds of weird stuff. Then the flimsy snow fence up front collapses and half the crowd falls over each other. That's when Gord coaxes the band to a stop and ends the show. I wasn't there, but it sounds pretty scary on the bootleg and you can really hear the worry in Gord's voice:

"Ok boys, that's it, that's it. That's enough. Everyone ok down here? Y'all ok? Take it easy. It's unsafe. Everyone take it easy."

[PSUHipFan]

Yeah, that's one of the shows I'm talking about. The rough crowd was bothering Gordie all show, so the band probably should have scratched Fire in the Hole. Gordie just got done saying "It's just a snow fence folks" and they launch into probably the heaviest song they have. LOL.

Anyway, back to the topic... the rant usually starts with some variation on:
"What have you got for me Bill?"
"Well, we've got a church on fire..."

This makes me wanna dig up some of those late-90s boots...