Steve Czaban had this to say, pretty fricking hilarious!
5:13 a.m. November 24, 2004
Czaban recounts "The Disneyland Argument"
By Steve Czaban
Perhaps more amazing than the Pistons/Pacers/fans riot on Friday night, are the excuses, spin control and rationalization by many people regarding the primary culprits in the entire episode.
And by that, I mean, the players. Duh.
Let me try to explain this slowly for everyone. The NBA is a multi-billion dollar corporation. The players are employees. The fans are customers. Rule No. 1 in business? "The customer is always right." The rule doesn't say: "The customer is always polite." Or well behaved. Or reasonable.
So, let's close our eyes for a moment and pretend that the following story is true. When you are done, replace "mascot" with "NBA player" and tell me if you still think that there's room for "yeah, buts..."
ANAHEIM, CA -- A shocking melee erupted today at Disneyland when irate park mascot "Goofy" went after park guests in a rage when one of them threw a cup of ice on his costume.
The day was seemingly coming to a peaceful end just minutes before closing, when Goofy decided to shove fellow park mascot Mickey from behind as Mickey was entertaining one last group of park patrons. Apparently for Mickey, the attack was the last straw, as Goofy has been suspended from his duties at Disneyland more than half a dozen times for similar unprovoked attacks on fellow mascots.
Mickey got up quickly, and shoved Goofy back, before other mascots nearby rushed in to stop the fight. Cooler overstuffed heads were seemingly about to prevail, until one park guest, unhappy with Goofy's unprovoked assault on his favorite character Mickey, threw the remnants of a lemon ice cup, which hit Goofy from behind in the head.
Unable to see who had thrown the lemon ice, Goofy nonetheless ripped off his mascot head, and charged at a group of park guests standing nearby, shoving one innocent guest face first into a nearby fountain.
Then the action really started. Other park guests rushed to attack the now headless and enraged Goofy, while fellow mascot Donald Duck jumped in and started throwing haymakers with his webbed mascot hands at the guests.
Horrified guests mostly ran from the melee, but a handful of young Disneyland punks took delight in the opportunity to finally "jack up Goofy" without his big foam head on. Park security rushed in and tried to usher the group of angry mascots out of the park to safety, but several seemed intent on continuing the fight with whatever park patrons were still left.
Immediately following the fight, Doc, Sneezy, Dopey and Bashful went on the Disney Channel post-game show, and furiously defended the mascots, claiming that people have no idea how much harassment they get every day, and that the park guests basically got what they deserved.
Two days later, the multi-billion-dollar Disney Corp., which prides itself on having parks which are "the happiest place on earth," said it was suspending Goofy for the rest of the season, along with eight other mascots. The move was immediately opposed by the APMA (the Amusement Park Mascots of America union) which said the suspension should have been a lot less, especially since Goofy did get hit with a cup of lemon ice first.
Many wondered why Disney had stood behind the controversial Goofy for so long, who has had several park incidents leading up to this.
Goofy once smashed a park guest's new digital camera when he was asked to pose for a photo. He also physically intimidated a tour group chaperone during a visit to the park by repeatedly bumping into him and saying "you want a piece of me?"
Just recently, Goofy asked for two months off of work, reportedly in order to tour with the kids musical group "The Wiggles." He was suspended by Disneyland management for two days -- although with full pay.
Still, Disneyland had a hard time cutting him loose due to the fact that when he's not intimidating other park mascots or smashing cameras, he's one of the hardest working mascots in the business, working tirelessly on his "antics" from the moment the park opens, until the moment it closes.
He also has a $6 million a year guaranteed contract that runs through 2008. Firing Goofy would have meant having to pay him his full salary, while not allowing the park to hire a replacement mascot until 2009. Disney had explored trades for Goofy with other parks over the winter. Reportedly, a deal was close with Six Flags America to swap Goofy for Yogi Bear, but the deal fell through when Disney execs decided they had enough "bear characters" on their roster.
Reaction to the ugly melee has been mixed. Many parents who have grown tired of Goofy's often glorified bullying of other mascots, felt the suspension was appropriate, and hoped that it would lead to a more civil demeanor of Disneyland mascots. Some parents even said they feared for their kids' safety at Disneyland, and would consider going to different amusement parks if the situation is not corrected.
However, many Goofy fans around the country said the suspension was too harsh. And said that Disneyland should share some of the blame for not preventing park guests from throwing lemon ice at the mascots. Some even suggested that sales of lemon ice should be cut off after noon at Disney parks to avoid these kind of situations.
Others have gone as far as to say that Disneyland should shut the park down for a day as a punishment to guests involved in the fracas, and allow the mascots to perform their antics without anybody present.
Despite the suspensions, Disneyland is facing more than two dozen lawsuits from guests who were caught in the ugly mascot melee. Disneyland's stock price was down sharply in trading following the riot.
Overall, public opinion of amusement park mascots has taken a beating recently. Not only is the average mascot salary well over $1 million per year, but many of them have been getting into more and more trouble away from the park.
Kings Dominion's lead mascot was charged with rape last summer, but the case never made it to trial. A former mascot for Knott's Berry Farm shotgunned his limo driver to death, but was acquitted of aggravated manslaughter. Just this fall, the second most popular mascot at Six Flags Minnesota said he couldn't feed his family on a $10 million salary.
hock:
) looked familiar from the moment he first reviewed the video. After about ten or twelve viewings, he realized the perpetrator used to be his neighbor! How's that for bad luck: incite a riot and get fingered by the Prosecutor himself.
