That's the greatest Hip show I've ever been to. I got to see them in so many extraordinary circumstances, but when a man throws his own wake, you show up. & I have to say, beyond the band itself, that's what I came home thinking about, was how much the crowd showed up. Ottawa is a government town, & Ottawans are notoriously careful about...everything lol. People don't give too much away, don't step outside the lines here, don't reveal how they really feel. Last night, for Ottawa, was the equivalent of an orgy in the aisles lol. Maybe it was just my section, but I was struck again by how amazing Hip fans are. Every concert, now that I think of it, leaves me with that feeling of being taken care of, somehow, & this was no different. Like even though I go there alone, I end up part of this insanely connected communal event.
The strangers on either side of me shared their loaves & fishes, laughed & cheered & passed their joints to the strangers 4 seats over, we shared high-fives & fist-bumps & grinned like idiots & cheered until our vocal cords gave out. & cried. & there stood Gord, losing parts of himself every day & still making the effort to make losing him easier for the people around him. So I started crying, actually had to sit down, & the stranger next to me put his hand on my shoulder & said "Are you alright?". When Gord says "Take care of eachother" as his way of saying goodbye, I think it's because he knows his audience. It's like he's saying "Don't forget who you are."
I went on info blackout about the tour, so it would all be a surprise for me (except Gord's outfits lol). At one point, I thought I was hearing the intro of Greasy Jungle, & I thought 'that's not possible', so I turned to the stranger on my other side & said “I'm going crazy--is this actually Greasy...” & he looked me in the eye & smiled & reverently mouthed the word. "Jungle". When the band plays favourites you don't expect, it's like they email your friends to ask you what you really want for your birthday. Surprise! Greasy Jungle!
Though, musically the highlight for me was probably Flamenco. Just so unexpected & beautifully delivered, & it was hard not to think maybe Gord discovered what all his fans know, which is that Gord Downie writes words you can lean on when you need to:
Walk like a matador, don't be chicken shit
And turn breezes into rivulets
Flamenco sweep the air and weave the sun
And stamp your feet for everyone
The hardest moment of the show was the one I looked forward to the most: Grace Too. For me the hidden heart of that song is the part where Gord takes off & goes a little...extemporaneous, with only “him. here. now. no” to keep him tethered to the earth. The tangents in Grace Too have always felt like a glimpse into Gord's head& heart, his advice for survivors maybe, or his warnings for the faint of heart. A look at where he's headed, even sometimes, like he's trying out new ideas or images. Well, when that moment of the song arrived....he left the stage. Where the heart of the song usually stood, there was an empty mic. Here aboard the Titanic, we all know what happened next: The Band Played On. But the silence, the absence in the song where Gord's voice usually was, was deafening. My heart cracked a bit. I can't imagine how the guys felt playing it without Gord there. It was an unexpected & painful vision of the future.
Moments like that made it all the more amazing to me that the night in general was this overwhelming, joyful celebration. The band creates that--It's hard to respond any other way to their incredible music & generosity. Normally it bothers me when all you can hear is the crowd singing, but not last night, when sometimes lol all you could hear was the crowd singing. It was a monumental sing-a-long, as if thru sheer power we could buoy Gord up if he faltered. To me, it seemed like the crowd made such an effort to communicate their love & thanks to the band. & vice versa, which just made for an unforgettable evening.
& then a lovely moment at the end, where Rob hugged Gord as the band left him on the stage. Rob kissed him, maybe full on the lips, just such an unguarded, intimate brotherly gesture. By the end of the night, I thought Gord looked demolished. Smiling & demolished. I felt the same way, to my everlasting joy.
Now I'm going to tell you something crazy, for anyone who's actually reading this whole post. I woke up this morning, put flamenco on repeat, & had it playing in the background when I thought I'd check my email after 1 pm, just for kicks. . . Je.sus. That cannot be real. “Congratulations, you've won the Man Machine Poem Tour ticket lottery...” So yeah, turns out it's real. It's like the show last night hasn't actually stopped, & I'm now just in the middle of the second half of the evening.
