[Stephen Dame]

So, for a few weeks, there's been this scratching noise that seemed to be coming from above my cupboards. In my pit of an apartment slum, noises from the fine folks above aren't uncommon. You can hear dogs walking across the floor of the apartment up stairs, and the guy next door used to breed Chinchilla's: they'd claw the walls occasionally. So I didn't pay much attention to the scratching.

About a week ago, the new girlfriend asked me about the sound. I said I didn't know, and realized that I'd gotten so used to it that I didn't notice it anymore.

About two feet from my computer, roughly five feet up on the wall, there's a fuse box cover. I've never opened it up in the five years I've been here, and it looks like the hinges and screws have been painted over a couple of times. When the door was originally attached, it didn't sit properly, so while three of the corners of the door sit flat, the lower right corner is ajar. There's a 5-8 cm gap between the bottom of the door and the wall. You could fit a finger in there.

Ten minutes ago, I hear the scratching noise near my head. I look up and it's clearly coming from the fuse box.

All of a sudden, the scratching noise becomes more of a shuffling, a friction, as if something is rubbing on the other side of the door. The scratching is now a loud squeaking sound.

I slowly take my left hand and raise it up towards the door to push the corner down... I'm really not looking forward to whatever the hell is squeaking and shuffling behind the door. My heart gets going at this point, as I have no idea what's behind there.

Just as my hand gets near the edge of the door, my index finger is met with six inches... of tail! Like an upside down jack-in-the-box, the thing jutted out towards me with an accompanying shriek that may have come from the rat or me: I'm still not sure.

The furry little beast, I'm assuming, had slipped into the gap and then quickly scurried off back into the wall.

I don't care what anybody says, I'm outta here. I just duct taped the gap, and I'm leaving a note for the land lord downstairs. I'm packing for the girlfriend's place as we speak. it mighta been a rat, it mighta been a mouse, I don't give a shit.

...and all of a sudden, I'm really aware of that damn scratching noise again!

[opiated]

godspeed my friend

[thedarkcanuck]

i used to live in a really crappy apartment and was dozing off on the couch when i saw a mouse run along the heat register that ran along the wall...never slept well there again and had to move out a month later

[direwolf74]

My skin crawled just reading that. Yikes!

[skippy the wonder dog]

The first apartment I had, I would sometimes feel cockroaches running over my arms at night.

And you know, that's true, but actually thinking about it ... I can't believe I put up with that place for eight months.

But ya know, rats are heavier. They'd be harder to ignore.

[PortlandCarbo]

omg, i have two really strong thoughts running through my head right now ---- 1) good job for getting the HELL outta there! and 2) i love your writing style! honestly dame, whenever you post, i have alot of fun reading them...you have quite the gift for storytelling.

make sure you let us know what your apt mgr is going to do - exterminators?...money off rent??? LOL, i second opiated...godspeed buddy!

[Hairbird]

I think it's just an elaborate scam, to convince that dashing young woman that he's been posting pictures of, that he just "has" to move in with her. Like any good Hip fan he's probably convinced her to check in on this forum a few times a day, and he figures that posting his "story" here will convince her that he really does have an infestation. Oh, I smell a rat alright, but it's coming from Dame, not his apartment!

[hotmetal401]

At about 5 this morning, my girlfriend rolls over and wakes me up tell her that the spider is spinning it's web on the ceiling right above her head. Then rolled back over and went back to sleep, leading me to beleive she was talking in her sleep again. After reading your story Dame, I think I may investigate this a little more carefully.

Cheers,

Pat

[Jenna_Bird]

I just gagged. I....ew....tail. *shudder*.

To put a positive spin on it, now you've got an excuse to stay with your girl. :twisted: I think I'm turning into Quagmire. Heh. *giggity*

-Jenna

[chris]

I think it's just an elaborate scam, to convince that dashing young woman that he's been posting pictures of, that he just "has" to move in with her. Like any good Hip fan he's probably convinced her to check in on this forum a few times a day, and he figures that posting his "story" here will convince her that he really does have an infestation. Oh, I smell a rat alright, but it's coming from Dame, not his apartment!

Ya know what James?? I think you're probably right. I've never trusted that Dame character! And when I last had a beer with him, he definitely seemed the sort to pull something like this...

[The Horrible Esthete]

They make something specifically for this, Dame.

It's called a cat.

:mrgreen:

[Stephen Dame]

I think it's just an elaborate scam, to convince that dashing young woman that he's been posting pictures of, that he just "has" to move in with her. Like any good Hip fan he's probably convinced her to check in on this forum a few times a day, and he figures that posting his "story" here will convince her that he really does have an infestation. Oh, I smell a rat alright, but it's coming from Dame, not his apartment!

Ya know what James?? I think you're probably right. I've never trusted that Dame character! And when I last had a beer with him, he definitely seemed the sort to pull something like this...

Ah, but see, I want her to be able to come over here without fear of contracting the plague. So, I didn't tell her about the rat or the continued scratching... in fact, in the version of the story I e-mailed to friends, I left her, and her curious questions, out of it. Don't need word getting around.

Thanks for all the suggestions folks.

My cousin offered this: "If you name it, it's not vermin, it's a pet."

My sister this: "You don't have a car right? Get a saddle."

The land lord said: "Can you prove it?" I think I'm going to let him prove it...

[clearlyentranced]

Fleeing the house due to a little mouse? We're in the basement of a house and we had a squirrel come town the chimney and out this opening in the chimney where the vent for the wood stove used to be.

We weren't actually in here when he jumped out, but when we came back we heard the sounds and wondered what the hell it was. Running around the room going nuts.

It couldn't climb back into the hole to escape, so I had to have animal control come and take it out..THAT is scary.

[Hairbird]

Fleeing the house due to a little mouse? We're in the basement of a house and we had a squirrel come town the chimney and out this opening in the chimney where the vent for the wood stove used to be.

We weren't actually in here when he jumped out, but when we came back we heard the sounds and wondered what the hell it was. Running around the room going nuts.

It couldn't climb back into the hole to escape, so I had to have animal control come and take it out..THAT is scary.

That's nothing. When I was in high school, I noticed a squirrel running around in our dining room one morning. It had come down the chimney too. I had to leave, so my Mom kept it locked up in there all day until my Dad and I were home. It was my job to hold a cardboard box in front of the fireplace, where the frightened squirrel had gone to hide, while my Dad used a broom to try and scare the squirrel into the box. The only problem was that the fireplace was at least 6" wider than the box. The squirrel came flying out the gap, grabbed onto my leg, causing me to squeel like a little girl, and instinctively jump up into the air higher than I've ever jumped, before or since. While in the middle of my Air Jordon like leap, the squirrel let go, droping to the floor in just the right position that I came down and landed on it's tail. The squirrel bolted for the back door which we'd left open for a quick disposal. The most unfortunate part was that when he bolted for freedom, his tail was still under my foot, and that's where it stayed! It was quite a sight to see that tail-less squirrel run out into the yard, but pretty disgusting to have to pick that big black tail up and get rid of it afterwards!

[sean.bonner]

Thats nothing. In summer 2003 I lived in a teepee all summer. Half the nights you woke up and heard raccoons crawling around three feet from your bed. A few occasions, people (including myself one time) woke up with raccoons on their beds. And you know what? After a week, we stopped caring.

...Except when then ate our food.
The wrath of Sean Bonner was seen.




And i guess the squirrel story does come close. :lol: