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In my search of threads to verbally assault the poster family for Canadian Tire's commercial campaign, I noticed a resounding hatred throughout our community. However, I felt that our efforts were far too scattered to really capture the essence of our distain. So I've taken the liberty of dedicating an entire thread to these wankers...
I think we should all come up with our own commercial scenarios and then we can select the best one and submit it on behalf of the Hipbase to the Canadian Tire Marketing Department for consideration...all proceeds from the royalties will go to our funding of a private Hip concert for us.
****
Pan over to CTGuy opening up the trunk of his car and pulling something out of his Canadian Tire bag.....and enter neighbour stage right.
Neighbour: Hey there friend...whatcha got there???
CTGuy: Oh these?...these are shit tickets!!
Neighbour: Shit tickets??? what are those for???
CTGuy: Well they're for wiping your ass after you take a dump.
Neighbour: REALLY!! You mean I've been using my hand all this time for nothing??
CTGuy: I guess so neighbour, and now with the new Mastercraft club pack you can clean your ass much more efficiently for the low low price of only $3.99!!
Neighbour: Wow the guys down at the "Thumbwar Club" sure are gonna thank you!!
Insert Canadian tire jingle "I'll start with yooooou!!"
****
Goulet!!!
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You need to create one involving a wood chipper, hatchet and his wife sleeping with the neighboor. All for $399.98... Only at CrappyTire
I need 2 Kingston Tickets, please help.
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Pan to CT Guy sitting alone at a table throwing back some scotch.
Neighbour appears out of nowhere.
Neighbour: Hey there, the police are outside and they say you've been beating your wife and throwing things around the house.
CT Guy: I just got a letter in the mail. It turns out people are vandalising Canadian Tires all across the country just because they hate me and my commercials. Sales have dropped significantly ever since they put me on the air. So, they're demoting me back to stock boy at the Churchill Canadian Tire, where they found me taking apart various tools and putting them together to make useless gimmicky ones.
Neighbour: Wow, I knew you sucked but I didn't realize it was that bad.
CT Guy: Well, it's all over now. No more toothbrush-air guns or tire iron-pencil sharpeners. So, I figured I'd have a drink and start some shit before going back to northern Manitoba.
Neighbour: I'll tell you what, you come with me and talk to the nice men outside and I'll vouch for you with the Canadian Tire people.
CT Guy: Okay, sounds like a deal.
They walk out the door where the CT Guy is grabbed by police, thrown to the ground and beaten mercilessly.
Voiceover Narrator: He's gone. For good. Please, please come back and buy from our store. Please.
Jeff
June 21, 2003 Toronto, ON: SkyDome
July 1, 2004 Toronto, ON: Molson Amphitheatre
November 26, 2004 Toronto, ON: Air Canada Centre
June 24, 2006 Toronto, ON: Historic Fort York
May 10, 2007 Indianapolis, IN: The Vogue
July 14, 2011 Edmonton, AB: Northlands Festival Site
June 30, 2012 Niagara-on-the-Lake, ON: The Commons at Butler's Barracks
January 23, 2013 Edmonton, AB: Rexall Place
July 28, 2016 Edmonton, AB: Rexall Place
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HAHAHA...These are great keep em coming
Goulet!!!
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CT Guy: With my new Mastercaraft crowbar, I can break into Canadian Tire, then speead away on my new polarblizzardstickstoice winter tires.
And with this new storage feature the crowbar fits right up my ass
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MountainHip Wrote:And with this new storage feature the crowbar fits right up my ass
Oh my goodness, I laugh at that every time I read it.
Jeff
June 21, 2003 Toronto, ON: SkyDome
July 1, 2004 Toronto, ON: Molson Amphitheatre
November 26, 2004 Toronto, ON: Air Canada Centre
June 24, 2006 Toronto, ON: Historic Fort York
May 10, 2007 Indianapolis, IN: The Vogue
July 14, 2011 Edmonton, AB: Northlands Festival Site
June 30, 2012 Niagara-on-the-Lake, ON: The Commons at Butler's Barracks
January 23, 2013 Edmonton, AB: Rexall Place
July 28, 2016 Edmonton, AB: Rexall Place
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ironic that me and me friends were doing this when we saw a CT commercial during the toronto-montreal game last saturday... we took it to the "Mastercraft Do-It-Yourself In Vitro Fertilization" and "Mastercraft Home Cloning Kit"... and then figured we'd went too far
LOL hahaaha
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<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.grandinite.com/2005/08/01/grandinites-40-most-annoying-canadians/">http://www.grandinite.com/2005/08/01/gr ... canadians/</a><!-- m -->
Check out # 1&2.
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i love cambodian tire money
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worldpeace Wrote:He was on the cover of Macleans a couple months ago.
http://www.macleans.ca/topstories/life/a...409_114409
I really really hate those skates that you tighten with a dial. If I ever saw someone wearing them in a game i was in, someone would have beat them senseless before the end of the first period.
They wouldn't get the chance. There's no way you'd be able to skate in those things. Plus, just a little stick work to that dial and I'm sure it will pop right off, leaving the skates permanently attached like an appendage.
Jeff
June 21, 2003 Toronto, ON: SkyDome
July 1, 2004 Toronto, ON: Molson Amphitheatre
November 26, 2004 Toronto, ON: Air Canada Centre
June 24, 2006 Toronto, ON: Historic Fort York
May 10, 2007 Indianapolis, IN: The Vogue
July 14, 2011 Edmonton, AB: Northlands Festival Site
June 30, 2012 Niagara-on-the-Lake, ON: The Commons at Butler's Barracks
January 23, 2013 Edmonton, AB: Rexall Place
July 28, 2016 Edmonton, AB: Rexall Place
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After reading all of this, I'm terribly curious as to how and why he's so awful. Are the ads anywhere out there in cyberspace? I must see this total tool in action! :lol:
-Jenna
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Yes, me too. Who is this guy?
