[Stephen Dame]

Alright, so in a third or fourth date situation, after the niceties and polite "getting to know you" stuff is over, and a woman offers to pay for dinner... should I let her?

I've always been the old fashioned (Maybe hopeless, clueless I dunno...) type who feels that a woman should never pay. I don't know if it's gentlemanly, but it's just kinda ingrained in me.. it just doesn't feel right to have a woman pay. But tonight, I kinda got a "What, I'm not good enough to pay?" vibe from her outta the deal.

Is it too passe to treat all the time? Should I whip out my wallet to show intent but then let her pay if she offers? I know things are different in a long term relationship (Especially when it becomes "our" money) but what do you think about early on in a relationship.

Is "the guy always pays" a thing of the past, or will she pull an "I can't believe he let me pay!" act when she speaks to her friends?

Also, any help on which friggin' fork does what would be greatly appreciated.

[K-Town Lassie]

I've been out of the dating scene for quite a while, but I think it really depends on the sitution. If the suggestion of a night out is yours, than yes, you pay... ie: "Hey did you hear that about that band down at Zaphod's? Want to check them out?".

If the two of you are just cruisin' the market and she says " Want to grab a bite?" then no. There is no obligation as there was no expectation. Mutual date sort of thing.

It is always nice to offer. A woman appreciates the gesture, but it is not always expected. If it seems that she is always waiting for you to pull out your wallet and pay for everything, than maybe this suggests a problem.

Just remember, most women today are financially secure and if, after a few dates, she says let me get that, don't argue too much. She is probably secure with who she is and what her budget allows. Offer to pay, but if she says no, go with it. It is not a reflection on you. Everyone, men and women both, enjoy treating occassionally.

This is just my take. Hope it helps....

[lord brazle]

You need a full-fledged pimp to answer your question.... luckily I'm here.

I, too, am old-fashioned and a lot of ladies enjoy this but there exists those who want to pay so I always split in half... right down the center. It don't matter if you had grilled cheese and she had lobster, right down the center. Now, NEVER, (lemme make that clear) NEVER let a woman pick up the whole bill unless... she invited you and you said beforehand you had no cash and she said "it's on me". Other than that, 50-50.
(Unless, of course, she's your sugar-momma... then let her buy you minks)

As for the forks... (should be three?)
Start with the furthest fork away from your plate (Salad Fork)
Cuz you normally kick it with the greens first...
As the meal progresses move down the line
To the next fork, second-closest to your plate (Dinner Fork)
Cuz now yer on the main dish...
Then finishing with the last fork closest to your plate (Desert Fork)
If you have shrimp or lobster or snails, you may get a two-pronged fork...
(or were you joking about the forks?) :lol:

[Stephen Dame]

Just remember, most women today are financially secure and if, after a few dates, she says let me get that, don't argue too much. She is probably secure with who she is and what her budget allows. Offer to pay, but if she says no, go with it. It is not a reflection on you. Everyone, men and women both, enjoy treating occassionally.

This is just my take. Hope it helps....

It does, thanks.

No doubt about the fact that women CAN pay for the meal, I'm no cave man in that respect. My concern is whether I should let her. Whether or not the ettiquette among females is that the guy should always pay... I guess I worry too much about what women think: story of my life.

[K-Town Lassie]

You need a full-fledged pimp to answer your question.... luckily I'm here.

I, too, am old-fashioned and a lot of ladies enjoy this but there exists those who want to pay so I always split in half... right down the center. It don't matter if you had grilled cheese and she had lobster, right down the center. Now, NEVER, (lemme make that clear) NEVER let a woman pick up the whole bill unless... she invited you and you said beforehand you had no cash and she said "it's on me". Other than that, 50-50.

As for the forks...
Start with the furthest fork away from your plate (Salad Fork)
As the meal progresses move down the line
To the next fork, second-closest to your plate (Dinner Fork)
Then finishing with the last fork closest to your plate (Desert Fork)
If you have shrimp or lobster or snails, you may get a two-pronged fork...
(or were you joking about the forks?) :lol:

O.k. You got me on the forks but, if I want to pay what's the big deal? I respect the 50/50 thing, but who cares if I want to pick up the tab? You won't be my bitch. You don't owe me anything. Let's just say I like you enough to want to treat. What's the problem? Maybe you can make up for it some other time. Would you respect me less for paying?

Just wonderin"...

[K-Town Lassie]

Just remember, most women today are financially secure and if, after a few dates, she says let me get that, don't argue too much. She is probably secure with who she is and what her budget allows. Offer to pay, but if she says no, go with it. It is not a reflection on you. Everyone, men and women both, enjoy treating occassionally.

This is just my take. Hope it helps....

It does, thanks.

No doubt about the fact that women CAN pay for the meal, I'm no cave man in that respect. My concern is whether I should let her. Whether or not the ettiquette among females is that the guy should always pay... I guess I worry too much about what women think: story of my life.

Just let the moment lead. Offer, and if she says no, than go with it. You are still the gentleman for asking. Trust me, she will appreciate the offer.

[Stephen Dame]

O.k. You got me on the forks but, if I want to pay what's the big deal?

Well it depends. If you're a cheap date, then I guess when the bill comes, its up for grabs.

But if you're one of them "La-Di-Da" Swiss Chalet gals, well then screw it: yer paying.

[lord brazle]

You need a full-fledged pimp to answer your question.... luckily I'm here.

I, too, am old-fashioned and a lot of ladies enjoy this but there exists those who want to pay so I always split in half... right down the center. It don't matter if you had grilled cheese and she had lobster, right down the center. Now, NEVER, (lemme make that clear) NEVER let a woman pick up the whole bill unless... she invited you and you said beforehand you had no cash and she said "it's on me". Other than that, 50-50.

As for the forks...
Start with the furthest fork away from your plate (Salad Fork)
As the meal progresses move down the line
To the next fork, second-closest to your plate (Dinner Fork)
Then finishing with the last fork closest to your plate (Desert Fork)
If you have shrimp or lobster or snails, you may get a two-pronged fork...
(or were you joking about the forks?) :lol:

O.k. You got me on the forks but, if I want to pay what's the big deal? I respect the 50/50 thing, but who cares if I want to pick up the tab? You won't be my bitch. You don't owe me anything. Let's just say I like you enough to want to treat. What's the problem? Maybe you can make up for it some other time. Would you respect me less for paying?

Just wonderin"...

No i didn't mean that at all! it's just cuz I grew up being taught never to let a lady pay (my father grew up in the sixities)... Listen if it's after a couple dates then yeah I guess it'd be perfectly fine so I should retract what i said previously. I was more talkin about first dates... lol ... every single one of them i had where she offered to pay and i let her I'd never see her again (so i attribute this to be a sign of a date-gone-bad?) Plus the girls I date don't got any money so this situation comes up maybe 2%? of the time... sorry but I always pay my own way so if she always pays her way then we split 50-50 but i never let a woman pick up the bill.... never.... (am i a bad guy now?)

[K-Town Lassie]

You need a full-fledged pimp to answer your question.... luckily I'm here.

I, too, am old-fashioned and a lot of ladies enjoy this but there exists those who want to pay so I always split in half... right down the center. It don't matter if you had grilled cheese and she had lobster, right down the center. Now, NEVER, (lemme make that clear) NEVER let a woman pick up the whole bill unless... she invited you and you said beforehand you had no cash and she said "it's on me". Other than that, 50-50.

As for the forks...
Start with the furthest fork away from your plate (Salad Fork)
As the meal progresses move down the line
To the next fork, second-closest to your plate (Dinner Fork)
Then finishing with the last fork closest to your plate (Desert Fork)
If you have shrimp or lobster or snails, you may get a two-pronged fork...
(or were you joking about the forks?) :lol:

O.k. You got me on the forks but, if I want to pay what's the big deal? I respect the 50/50 thing, but who cares if I want to pick up the tab? You won't be my bitch. You don't owe me anything. Let's just say I like you enough to want to treat. What's the problem? Maybe you can make up for it some other time. Would you respect me less for paying?

Just wonderin"...

No i didn't mean that at all! it's just cuz I grew up being taught never to let a lady pay (my father grew up in the sixities)... Listen if it's after a couple dates then yeah I guess it'd be perfectly fine so I should retract what i said previously. I was more talkin about first dates... lol ... every single one of them i had where she offered to pay and i let her I'd never see her again (so i attribute this to be a sign of a date-gone-bad?) Plus the girls I date don't got any money so this situation comes up maybe 2%? of the time... sorry but I always pay my own way so if she always pays her way then we split 50-50 but i never let a woman pick up the bill.... never.... (am i a bad guy now?)

Your father was a smart man.... :lol:

Always pay on the first date. If she offers on the first date, it's probably because she's being polite. But like I said to Stephen, let the situation guide, if she offers, counter offer but don't press....

BTW, never, and I do mean NEVER take her to a strip club then expect her to pay. Laugh if you will, but it happened to my sis. I see the guy in question sometimes, and he still can't walk upright....

P.S. If the girls you date never have money, maybe you should date a different type of girl. God knows, you're smart enough to meet a better class of women...

[K-Town Lassie]

O.k. You got me on the forks but, if I want to pay what's the big deal?

Well it depends. If you're a cheap date, then I guess when the bill comes, its up for grabs.

But if you're one of them "La-Di-Da" Swiss Chalet gals, well then screw it: yer paying.

Oh Sh*t, man! Not Swiss Chalet. They give them high falootin' finger bowls there don't they?

I swear! I really thought it was lemonade....

[K-Town Lassie]

P.S. If the girls you date never have money, maybe you should date a different type of girl. God knows, you're smart enough to meet a better class of women

Man, did that sound pretentious! Sorry, didn't mean too. It's too late and I'm a little too....tall? (What's the synonym for high? ) :lol:

[lord brazle]

:thumb:

Thanks for not being offended!

I'm 21 and the oldest girl I ever dated was 18
(Minimum wage can't get ya $hit all!)

And a good synonym for high would be "toasted"
I've always been fond of it....
And I, too, am completely "toasted" right now...

[K-Town Lassie]

I am considerably older than 18. But pleasently toasted..... :thumb:

Glad to see I'm not alone!

[lord brazle]

I suspect we're not the only Hip fans to "smoke" on a regular basis!
:lol:

Here's to harsh hits and coughing fits... :thumb:

[K-Town Lassie]

Bravo! I'm with you my friend... :thumb: