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E-Mail-Order Bride
#1

Dear Hipbasers,

In light of recent events in my love life, I have come to a very crucial decision. I am going to become an e-mail-order bride. Since you have been such a warm and welcoming community I figured I'd give you all the first shot. I am a very healthy, humorous, well-educated 22-year-old American female. I love music (obviously The Hip), cooking, running, swimming, photography, good beer, piercings, coffee, fireworks, beaches and writing. Since many of the 'basers are Canadian and come from a more enlightened country than my own, I feel I owe it to my potential lifemates up North to inform them that male or female may apply. I will relocate to the desired location of the highest bidder. Good luck, and dig deep into your hearts and pockets.

xoxoxoxox

-Jenna


*please note, this is well-intentioned sarcasm*
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#2

Man, I wish I wasn't getting married this summer.......
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#3

read the fine print..

Imagine a world before the "beginning was the word.”
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#4

What fine print? I don't see any fine print. I refuse to read fine print.

Jeff

June 21, 2003 Toronto, ON: SkyDome
July 1, 2004 Toronto, ON: Molson Amphitheatre
November 26, 2004 Toronto, ON: Air Canada Centre
June 24, 2006 Toronto, ON: Historic Fort York
May 10, 2007 Indianapolis, IN: The Vogue
July 14, 2011 Edmonton, AB: Northlands Festival Site
June 30, 2012 Niagara-on-the-Lake, ON: The Commons at Butler's Barracks
January 23, 2013 Edmonton, AB: Rexall Place
July 28, 2016 Edmonton, AB: Rexall Place
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#5

Fine print be damned! My girlfriend and I are definitely interested. :lol
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#6

Chris, you're a bright one. Pool your collective resources!! :lol:

-Jenna
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#7

LOL..........

So, is 36 too old for ya?? :lol:

Actually Jenna, I have always noitced your pic, I am positive that you will have no problem finding a guy in your area!
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#8

Jenna_Bird Wrote:Since many of the 'basers are Canadian and come from a more enlightened country than my own, I feel I owe it to my potential lifemates up North to inform them that male or female may apply.

Enlightened eh? Did you hear the results of our election? :oops:
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#9

LoftyPines Wrote:
Jenna_Bird Wrote:Since many of the 'basers are Canadian and come from a more enlightened country than my own, I feel I owe it to my potential lifemates up North to inform them that male or female may apply.

Enlightened eh? Did you hear the results of our election? :oops:

I'm sorry to say that I have. Cry Let's just hope that you aren't stuck with the same bullshit we've been wading through down here.

-Jenna
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#10

Happily for those of us left of ultra right-wing, it's only a minority government. We shall overcome.
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#11

Sam Wrote:Happily for those of us left of ultra right-wing, it's only a minority government. We shall overcome.

yeah..we wouldn't want 12 years of corruption now would we... Tongue
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#12

This is supposed to be a thread about how Jenna is going to come and live in Toronto; here are a couple of threads about politics and the election:
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://hipbase.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=8281">http://hipbase.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=8281</a><!-- m -->
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://hipbase.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7933">http://hipbase.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7933</a><!-- m -->

Can't I just have this one?
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#13

opiated Wrote:
Sam Wrote:Happily for those of us left of ultra right-wing, it's only a minority government. We shall overcome.

yeah..we wouldn't want 12 years of corruption now would we... Tongue

I'm not a Liberal. Tongue

Good luck finding a Canadian to marry, Jenna. There used to be a website dedicated to that, wasn't there? Just after Bush was elected the second time, I saw a site where Canadians could register to "save" Americans through marriage.
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#14

chris Wrote:This is supposed to be a thread about how Jenna is going to come and live in Toronto; here are a couple of threads about politics and the election:
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://hipbase.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=8281">http://hipbase.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=8281</a><!-- m -->
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://hipbase.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7933">http://hipbase.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7933</a><!-- m -->

Can't I just have this one?

i think jennas heart lies out west!!! :thumb:
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#15

UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT
SOUTHWESTERN DISTRICT OF THE STATE OF OHIO

===================================X

THE HORRIBLE ESTHETE,
Plaintiff

v.

JENNA_BIRD,
Defendant

===================================X

Verified Complaint No. 490314052632
Filed: Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Plaintiff THE HORRIBLE ESTHETE, by his unwitting online attourney, PRZ, complaining of the defendant herein, upon information and belief, respectfully alleges as follows:

1. Plaintiff THE HORRIBLE ESTHETE is a registered member of The Hipbase, The Tragically Hip database, with the designated status of "Sherpa".

2. Plaintiff THE HORRIBLE ESTHETE, is an unmarried individual who, as a victim of fate, infidelity, and romantic misfortune, has made careful, concerted efforts to change his marital status.

3. Plaintiff THE HORRIBLE ESTHETE, on the afternoon of January 24, 2006, was logged onto the Hipbase Forum and using the website in a manner consistent with its designed and intended purpose.

4. During the aforementioned online visit, Plaintiff THE HORRIBLE ESTHETE read a post submitted by the Defendant, JENNA_BIRD, entitled "E-mail Order Bride", in which the Defendant used extreme levels of sarcasm to express disenchantment with her apparent romantic singledom.

5. Prior to the Plaintiff's cognizance of the sarcastic nature of the Defendant's post, the Plaintiff experienced a dramatic and severe instance of a combintion of emotional stimuli, including excitement, allure, elation, wonder, amazement, gratitude, disbelief, and anxiety.

6. The Plaintiff also suffered physiological complications resulting fro, the sudden redirection of bloodflow.

7. Furthermore, the Plaintiff suspects that he may have shat himself.

8. WHEREAS, the Plaintiff became unable to concentrate and apply himself to his duties to his employer, and suffered acute emotional distress upon the realization that the defendant's post was not honest proclamation, but flippant sarcasm.

9. WHEREFORE, the Plaintiff demands judgement against the Defendant in an amount exceeding the jurisdictional requirements of this Forum, including dinner-for-two over finely-brewed lagers and/or ales, as a precursor to a live performance of The Tragically Hip as ascribed by the Plaintiff.
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