10-31-2006, 01:01 AM
bean loves this thread, cant get enough of it
Select The Best Rx
10-31-2006, 05:47 AM
hip Wrote:Your website suks ass, my weed never came Phent?
Lance, shut this shit down!
The mild profanity was in thought of bean
You asked for it, I am taking this down and starting a Nickelback site.
10-31-2006, 05:49 AM
PRINCESS Wrote:hip Wrote:Your website suks ass, my weed never came Phent?
Lance, shut this shit down!
The mild profanity was in thought of bean
You asked for it, I am taking this down and starting a Nickelback site.
Crap, I need my own laptop :wink:
I need 2 Kingston Tickets, please help.
10-31-2006, 10:26 AM
beanmedic Wrote:There is not enough profanity in this thread.
fuck shit mittens
10-31-2006, 11:17 AM
tragicallysteve Wrote:beanmedic Wrote:There is not enough profanity in this thread.
f**k shit mittens
Reminds me of the last episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 3 ("The Grand Opening") when the chef of Larry's new restaurant is discovered to have Tourrette's Syndrome, and his outbursts from the kitched lead to a "swear-fest" amongst opening-night patrons.
"Boy cock, girl cock, e-i-e-i-o!"
:lol:
10-31-2006, 05:07 PM
Larry David RULES!!!! :thumb: :thumb: :thumb: :thumb:
Now, a joke:
An elderly Canadian gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.
At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.
"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked, sarcastically.
The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.
"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."
The Canadian said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible, Canadians always have to show your passports on arrival in France!"
The Canadian senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look, then he quietly explained, "Well, when I came ashore at Juno Beach on D Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."
Now, a joke:
An elderly Canadian gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.
At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.
"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked, sarcastically.
The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.
"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."
The Canadian said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible, Canadians always have to show your passports on arrival in France!"
The Canadian senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look, then he quietly explained, "Well, when I came ashore at Juno Beach on D Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."
11-01-2006, 01:06 AM
A guy wakes up one morning, and while getting his newspaper off the front porch, he notices a gorilla up in a tree on his front yard. He goes inside, opens the Yellow Pages, and finds a "Gorilla Removal Service". Gives them a shout, and they tell him an expert will be over in 30 minutes.
A half hour later, the van pulls up, and a man comes across the front yard, with a long pole, a pair of hand-cuffs, a shotgun, and a dog on a leash.
He approaches the home-owner, and says here's whats going to happen....."I'm going to climb the tree, and poke the gorilla off the branch with the long pole. When the gorilla falls, the trained dog is going to bite the gorilla in the nuts really hard. In defense, the gorilla will cross his arms, and that's when you hand-cuff him."
The guy asks, "What's the shotgun for?"
The expert replies, "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla.....shoot the dog!"
A half hour later, the van pulls up, and a man comes across the front yard, with a long pole, a pair of hand-cuffs, a shotgun, and a dog on a leash.
He approaches the home-owner, and says here's whats going to happen....."I'm going to climb the tree, and poke the gorilla off the branch with the long pole. When the gorilla falls, the trained dog is going to bite the gorilla in the nuts really hard. In defense, the gorilla will cross his arms, and that's when you hand-cuff him."
The guy asks, "What's the shotgun for?"
The expert replies, "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla.....shoot the dog!"
11-01-2006, 02:18 AM
in that case...wouldn't he have responded something to the effect of "HONH HONH HONH"? :lol:
alright...
A pirate in search of treasure in Africa landed ashore...not soon after he found his treasure...but, little did he know, it was being gaurded by a very wise African Wizard...as he attempted to haul the treasure he had found back to his ship, he was confronted by the Wizard...
"that does not belong to you!" the Wizard angrily shouted.
"i shall let you choose your punishment...death...or...OOGA BOOGA?" he asked the pirate...
not wanting to die, the pirate responded "ooga booga, i guess."
The Wizard slammed his staff on the ground violently, and all of a sudden, an enormous black man magically appeared from a cloud of pink smoke, and proceeded to sodomize the pirate!
After he had been thoroughly punished, the pirate gingerly made his way back to his ship...he thought of leaving Africa, and abandoning his plans, BUT, he had not come this far to return empty handed...so, he decided that he would stay up extremely late...and go back when the wizard was sleeping and try again...so that's what he did.
when arrived to at the site of the treasure, the wizard was fast asleep as he had expected...he crept ever so quietly towards the treasure, eyes gleaming with joy, at last, he would have what he came for! however, the second he layed his hands upon the riches, the Wizard awoke from his sleep!
"i told you! that does not belong to you!" the Wizard angrily shouted, "and furthermore, you've disrupted my slumber!"
"you are free to choose your punishment...death...or...OOGA BOOGA?"
still not wanting to die, the pirate solemnly responded with a sunken head and a large gulp "ooga booga"
Once again, the Wizard violently slammed his staff on the ground...
but this time, A DOZEN LARGE BLACK MEN APPEARED, and took turns having their way with the pirate...
all but broken, the pirate eventually managed to get back to his ship...where he stayed for many days and restless nights, racking his brains, trying to figure out just how he would obtain the treasure...how could he get past that wizard!?!?!?!?!
finally, hee decided, that the only way that he would ever be able to escape with the treasure, would be to kill the wizard!
so, once again, he returned to the treasure spot, late at night while the wizard was sleeping...he crept up ever so sneakily behind the wizard, drew his sword, raised it high in the air above the sleeping, and unsuspecting wizard's head, and in a cruel twist of fate, just as he was about to off the old bugger, he let one rip...AND I MEAN HE REEEEEEEALLY LET ONE RIP! in fact, he farted so loudly that it awoke the wizard! poor bastard...the wizard immediately snatched the sword from the pirate, put it up to his throat, and asked the pirate once more...
"DEATH? OR OOOOOOOOOOGA BOOOOOOOOOGA?"
not wanting to be anally raped ever again so long as he lived, the pirate responded
"DEATH! PLEASE! JUST KILL ME! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"
the wizard, not expecting him to choose death, stopped, and bewildered for the moment, went into very deep thought...
then he smiled at the pirate and said:
"as you wish...DEATH..."
"thank you!" the pirate exclaimed in joy!
"DEATH BY OOGA BOOGA!"
:twisted:
alright...
A pirate in search of treasure in Africa landed ashore...not soon after he found his treasure...but, little did he know, it was being gaurded by a very wise African Wizard...as he attempted to haul the treasure he had found back to his ship, he was confronted by the Wizard...
"that does not belong to you!" the Wizard angrily shouted.
"i shall let you choose your punishment...death...or...OOGA BOOGA?" he asked the pirate...
not wanting to die, the pirate responded "ooga booga, i guess."
The Wizard slammed his staff on the ground violently, and all of a sudden, an enormous black man magically appeared from a cloud of pink smoke, and proceeded to sodomize the pirate!
After he had been thoroughly punished, the pirate gingerly made his way back to his ship...he thought of leaving Africa, and abandoning his plans, BUT, he had not come this far to return empty handed...so, he decided that he would stay up extremely late...and go back when the wizard was sleeping and try again...so that's what he did.
when arrived to at the site of the treasure, the wizard was fast asleep as he had expected...he crept ever so quietly towards the treasure, eyes gleaming with joy, at last, he would have what he came for! however, the second he layed his hands upon the riches, the Wizard awoke from his sleep!
"i told you! that does not belong to you!" the Wizard angrily shouted, "and furthermore, you've disrupted my slumber!"
"you are free to choose your punishment...death...or...OOGA BOOGA?"
still not wanting to die, the pirate solemnly responded with a sunken head and a large gulp "ooga booga"
Once again, the Wizard violently slammed his staff on the ground...
but this time, A DOZEN LARGE BLACK MEN APPEARED, and took turns having their way with the pirate...
all but broken, the pirate eventually managed to get back to his ship...where he stayed for many days and restless nights, racking his brains, trying to figure out just how he would obtain the treasure...how could he get past that wizard!?!?!?!?!
finally, hee decided, that the only way that he would ever be able to escape with the treasure, would be to kill the wizard!
so, once again, he returned to the treasure spot, late at night while the wizard was sleeping...he crept up ever so sneakily behind the wizard, drew his sword, raised it high in the air above the sleeping, and unsuspecting wizard's head, and in a cruel twist of fate, just as he was about to off the old bugger, he let one rip...AND I MEAN HE REEEEEEEALLY LET ONE RIP! in fact, he farted so loudly that it awoke the wizard! poor bastard...the wizard immediately snatched the sword from the pirate, put it up to his throat, and asked the pirate once more...
"DEATH? OR OOOOOOOOOOGA BOOOOOOOOOGA?"
not wanting to be anally raped ever again so long as he lived, the pirate responded
"DEATH! PLEASE! JUST KILL ME! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"
the wizard, not expecting him to choose death, stopped, and bewildered for the moment, went into very deep thought...
then he smiled at the pirate and said:
"as you wish...DEATH..."
"thank you!" the pirate exclaimed in joy!
"DEATH BY OOGA BOOGA!"
:twisted:
11-01-2006, 08:09 AM
Thats one of those jokes that take way too long to read, so i dont..sorry, jokes gotta grab you attention quick, and that one did not..
i bet it was funny though
i bet it was funny though
11-01-2006, 10:10 AM
d_alex_d Wrote:Thats one of those jokes that take way too long to read, so i dont..sorry, jokes gotta grab you attention quick, and that one did not..
i bet it was funny though
Nope it wasn't....and further to the joke above, anything that makes fun of French people is alright by me!!!
11-01-2006, 02:55 PM
robert goulet Wrote:d_alex_d Wrote:Thats one of those jokes that take way too long to read, so i dont..sorry, jokes gotta grab you attention quick, and that one did not..
i bet it was funny though
Nope it wasn't....and further to the joke above, anything that makes fun of French people is alright by me!!!
Thanks! I'm glad somebody else was amused by a joke making fun of the French.
As cfern said, maybe beanmedic is French. :oops:
11-01-2006, 04:47 PM
robert goulet Wrote:d_alex_d Wrote:Thats one of those jokes that take way too long to read, so i dont..sorry, jokes gotta grab you attention quick, and that one did not..
i bet it was funny though
Nope it wasn't....and further to the joke above, anything that makes fun of French people is alright by me!!!
to hell with you guys...it took forever to type that out! all for your personal amusement! it's a damn funny joke!
here's a joke...
eat shit and bark at the moon :rambo:
11-03-2006, 11:34 AM
The Darkest Canuck Wrote:robert goulet Wrote:d_alex_d Wrote:Thats one of those jokes that take way too long to read, so i dont..sorry, jokes gotta grab you attention quick, and that one did not..
i bet it was funny though
Nope it wasn't....and further to the joke above, anything that makes fun of French people is alright by me!!!
to hell with you guys...it took forever to type that out! all for your personal amusement! it's a damn funny joke!
here's a joke...
eat shit and bark at the moon :rambo:
It made me lol, I thought it was great!
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