[cferneyh]

Canadian Tire Guy: "Really? You know, my MasterCraft Adjustable Five-Speed Birth Pump can suction a baby out of a uterus in half the time of a hospital! It can be powered by most major car batteries and fits right in the glove compartment! Machine washable? It is! And look!" [clips birth pump to face] "The titanium grip means I'll never lose it! Thanks, MasterCraft!"

Sweet.

Personally, I'd love to see one where Canadian Tire Guy's wife is showing off her new MasterCraft vibrator which she needs because Canadian Tire Guy is too frickin busy with his lame-ass tools. When Canadian Tire Guy comes in the house to see what all the moaning is about he gets out his pressurizer (sp?) and hoses her down. That would be sweet.