Killer Whale Tank Wrote:'Exquisite'---the word around which the whole lyric is constructed---rings false to me. I just don't believe that's an honest representation of what a father would say to his daughter after watching a car full of Yahoos throw a bottle onto the street. More grating is 'barbarous threats' (leaving out the adjective would have been more effective. That's a classic example of overwriting; just say 'threats' and leave the specifics to the listener's imagination).
Between 'iridescent,' 'exquisite,' 'exulted' 'barbarous' and the acceptable, but slightly too cerebral 'stub-toe effects', parts of the lyric have a precious quality that detracts from the splendid verses. IMHO.
Of course, it matters more in a song like this, where the simple structure means that every word carries weight.
disagree entirely. the entire song is about learning language as a metaphor for learning about life. That's why you've got the "high vocabulary" with your exquisites and your exulteds and your barbarouses commingled with the "low vocabulary" -- the stubbed-toes, the cads, the stoop-shoulders, the image of a car full of haircuts -- distilling down to the gutteral and the onamatopoeic: "phwwww" "ohhhh" and "hmmmm". A range of human experiences.
I think the words selected are the key to the whole song.
ct
Chris Tanz Wrote:Killer Whale Tank Wrote:'Exquisite'---the word around which the whole lyric is constructed---rings false to me. I just don't believe that's an honest representation of what a father would say to his daughter after watching a car full of Yahoos throw a bottle onto the street. More grating is 'barbarous threats' (leaving out the adjective would have been more effective. That's a classic example of overwriting; just say 'threats' and leave the specifics to the listener's imagination).
Between 'iridescent,' 'exquisite,' 'exulted' 'barbarous' and the acceptable, but slightly too cerebral 'stub-toe effects', parts of the lyric have a precious quality that detracts from the splendid verses. IMHO.
Of course, it matters more in a song like this, where the simple structure means that every word carries weight.
disagree entirely. the entire song is about learning language as a metaphor for learning about life. That's why you've got the "high vocabulary" with your exquisites and your exulteds and your barbarouses commingled with the "low vocabulary" -- the stubbed-toes, the cads, the stoop-shoulders, the image of a car full of haircuts -- distilling down to the gutteral and the onamatopoeic: "phwwww" "ohhhh" and "hmmmm". A range of human experiences.
I think the words selected are the key to the whole song.
ct
Well said! I couldn't agree more.
Chris Tanz Wrote:Killer Whale Tank Wrote:'Exquisite'---the word around which the whole lyric is constructed---rings false to me. I just don't believe that's an honest representation of what a father would say to his daughter after watching a car full of Yahoos throw a bottle onto the street. More grating is 'barbarous threats' (leaving out the adjective would have been more effective. That's a classic example of overwriting; just say 'threats' and leave the specifics to the listener's imagination).
Between 'iridescent,' 'exquisite,' 'exulted' 'barbarous' and the acceptable, but slightly too cerebral 'stub-toe effects', parts of the lyric have a precious quality that detracts from the splendid verses. IMHO.
Of course, it matters more in a song like this, where the simple structure means that every word carries weight.
disagree entirely. the entire song is about learning language as a metaphor for learning about life. That's why you've got the "high vocabulary" with your exquisites and your exulteds and your barbarouses commingled with the "low vocabulary" -- the stubbed-toes, the cads, the stoop-shoulders, the image of a car full of haircuts -- distilling down to the gutteral and the onamatopoeic: "phwwww" "ohhhh" and "hmmmm". A range of human experiences.
I think the words selected are the key to the whole song.
ct
Wow Chris... you said that better than I ever could. Well done!