PunBB

About two months ago I got the most random text from my financial consultant and fellow hip fan. It said "hey, I'm at a bar with my buddy from Kingston, and the rumor going around there is that Gord has terminal cancer." Clearly the kind of thing that you would almost always brush off, but for some reason I didn't. Somehow I knew it was true.

So every day I googled. I checked Twitter. I came on the base. Hell, I even checked Wikipedia. And strangely, every day I didn't find anything, I was more sure it was true. Then came the song release with no tour dates. Then a big Waterkeeper event with plenty of "sorry Gord couldn't make it" type of comments. Then came the honorary degree thing. Every time an email came from the band about new merch or a wine, I was afraid to open it.

Then came Tuesday and you all know the rest. It didn't make the news easier to read. But I sat here thinking, "this poor man, a public figure trying to be private, and here I am googling his name every day on a rumor."

I don't know why I felt compelled to share that whole story. I think it's partly because the people on this forum are the biggest fans I know, and many of you likely had similar stories. Or for those of you with personal connections, you probably knew for months, and I respect the hell out of your ability to respect this man's privacy.

But, now that it's out there, I'm wondering, was I alone? Who else knew (or like me, "knew" even though they didn't.) I'm curious because I wonder what was worse... Knowing or being blind sided.

Anyone have a story to share?

I never suspected that Gord had cancer, never heard that from anyone. The only time I started thinking something was up was when he no-showed for two events, not like him to do so. That plus selling off of the house had me thinking maybe divorce or that his wife had taken ill again. But when it comes to the Hip I never assumed the worst with that band, their entire history has been pretty spotless.

I didn't know anything but not being at the Queen's thing made me nervous.

It really was tough to wait through the past few months and not be able to come on here asking "Does anybody know anything about Gord's condition???". I met someone back in early February who knows a member of Gord's family, and he had heard that Gord had a "stroke" back in the fall. He also told me that the initial name of the new album was going to be Dougie Stardust, but that the band had decided on that name well before David Bowie passed away, and realized that it probably wouldn't be in good taste to stick with it. That also made it difficult through the whole Dougie Stardust release date saga online!

So I made it through the past few months without saying anything, thinking to myself "okay, he had a stroke, he'll probably be out of the public eye for a while but will eventually be okay". People were complaining about the album taking too long to be released, the marketing campaign being weak, no tour dates announced, etc. I knew it must be related to Gord's health, but Tuesday's announcement really floored me. I've been a fan since I was 12 years old, and even camped out outside of Copps Coliseum for tickets for two nights when I was in Grade 10. Gord is my hero and idol - as I know he is to many others on here - and it's really tough dealing with this. I don't want to think about a world without Gord Downie, one where there's no new album to look forward to every 2-3 years (even though I stand firm that IBE was the last true great and authentic Hip album), and the excitement that comes with counting down the days to the next Hip show. We're all losing part of our identity and something that seemed like a constant in life, and boy does it suck. Really looking forward to the new album/tour. Not looking forward to crying through entire concerts this summer! All the best to Gord, his family, the band, and all of you.

There were people complaining about songs or things seeming incomplete and with this in the back of my mind I remember just thinking, "please stop complaining. I'm petrified you are all going to regret it."

Like most here, I had no idea about the cancer. I did think it was kinda weird when he didn't show up for the Queen's honorary degree thing, but I assumed he had a good reason. Right around the time he sold his house in Toronto, there were some rumors going around that he was going through a divorce. I figured maybe that's why he was keeping a low profile and was absent from certain events. Clearly that rumor was false.

The lack of tour dates didn't make me suspect anything was up. Most Hip tours are announced closer to the album release or after the album release, not prior to the album release.

A few people have mentioned the house sale being related to GD's illness. Keep in mind the house sale was in October or November, a month or two before his seizure and diagnosis.

The illness does explain why the rollout of the album was delayed from what we anticipated. The Dougie Stardust title and March release was probably the original plan before Gord's illness.

I had no inclination anything was going on. Until the band got the honorary degrees and Gord was conspicuously absent. Then my mind started going off as to what's going on? Wishing it was anything but Gords health.