08-02-2003, 03:24 PM
taken from http://www.thefeminists.net/harmer.htm
Quote:Sometimes, I like to kid myself into thinking I am far too busy to watch television, but inevitably I find myself sofa bound with remote in hand. I stare in dull wonderment at the black picture tube. Pause... deep breath... entertainment awaits. My finger flips a switch, an electrical signal is sent, and the world awaits in all its luminous glory. After subjugating myself to four second clips of various programming on all fifty-two of my pirated cable channels, I eventually land on our nations music station. Ah, Muchmusic! Radio for aurally impaired. Today’s offering: a touch of Canadiana. So here we have Sarah Harmer doing a quaint little duet with our friends and hockey icons, The Tragically Hip. Why Sarah? Why? I had such high hopes for you. The Tragically Hip are charlatans! They deserve to share a prison cell with Mike Bullard. Come on, Sarah, while there’s still time! Reconnect with the old members of Weeping Tile, and get the hell out of Ontario before its too late!
Okay, yes Sarah, I’ll admit it. Once, there was a time, for about three weeks in June of ‘96, when I too was brainwashed to believe I liked Tragically Hip. I used to drive a delivery truck which was blessed with the gift of FM radio. Every morning at the crack of dawn, I’d hop into that shiny white one-tonne rig, and convoy my way downtown listening to Kelowna’s only rock radio station FM104.7, The Lizard. You see Sarah, some twisted program director by the name of ‘Scanlon’ thought it’d be funny to play that damned Hundredth Meridian song every day. And after all this daily repetition, the Hip’s “infectious pop melodies” blended with a taste of “small town rock and roll” seeped into my brain. So, I fired down to the record store and picked me up some Canadian pride. Thankfully, we lost the contract and sold the truck. I came to my senses. The thought of it even now makes me shiver. The bland, generic songwriting. The painfully trite guitar solos. The vibrato. God, the horrible, horrible vibrato! And the lyrics... they shot a movie in my hometown too, Gord. It was a low budget science fiction flick starring Mark Hamill, and I would gladly spend an eternity watching that little drop of box office poison if it meant that I never had to hear that stupid “happy hour” song for the rest of my life.
Now, before you start accusing me of being unpatriotic, Sarah, I would like to take this opportunity to display my cancon cred before I find Cesus knocking on my basement suite door. In fact, by my track record, I believe I am but weeks away from stomping a two-by-four into splinters with my boot. So, for your consideration, I have provided a small list that I hope may satiate the committee, and further my chances of securing a Factor grant (the same grant, I’d like to stress, that was acquired by Mr. Downie to release his solo debut despite it being picked up by Universal. Ooo, like you didn’t see that one coming Gordie!).
![[Image: boink007.gif]](http://www.opkikkertje.nl/smilies/boink/boink007.gif)
