[opiated]

for me the funniest xmas movie..and probably the best vacation movie as well..i'm playing some quotes on-air today, although some of the funniest lines aren't air-friendly..but this is my favorite "all ears" quote..


Clark: "Hey kids, I heard on the news that an airline pilot spotted Santa's sled on it's way in from New york."

All of the Adults except Eddie: "Oooh!"

Eddie: "You serious Clark?"

[Corby]

Clark shopping for lingerie:

"Wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if the stores were any less hooter than they - hotter than they are."

and on the road:

"let's burn some dust here, eat my rubber!"

but there are too many great quotes...

[northern wave]

"The shitter's full" :lol:

[mrlayance]

"Clark, why don't you get yourself something real nice!" - Cousin Eddie in Wal-Mart.

[BulletRiddled]

Hey, if any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?

[fingernailsonhull]

We're gonna have the hap hap happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny fuckin K.

[direwolf74]

We're gonna have the hap hap happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap danced with Danny fuckin K.

LOL! I love that quote. Some more of my favorites:


Clark: Can I refill your eggnog for you, Eddie? Get ya something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere..leave you for dead?

(Todd and Margo, the Griswold's yuppie neighbors, appear)
Todd: Hey Griswold! Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?
Clark: Bend over and I'll show you.
Todd: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that, Griswold.
Clark: I wasn't talking to you.

Clark: 'Tis the season to be merry.
Mary: Well that's my name.
Clark: No shit.

Ruby Sue: Rocky bit my thumb. He's nervous.
Clark: Nervous or excited?
Ruby Sue: Shittin' bricks.
Clark: You shouldn't use that word.
Ruby Sue: Sorry. Shittin' rocks.

Art: The little lights are not twinkling.
Clark: I know Art and, thanks for noticing.

[Lizard King]

That movie is packed with great quotes, here's some faves..

Eddie: "After that long drive, we could use a little private time together. Honey, why don't you run and get the kid's things. And, don't forget the rubber sheets and the gerbils."


Eddie: "Well, don't go putting none of that stuff on my sled Clark. You know that metal plate in my head?"
Clark: "Ah! How could I forget?"
Eddie: "I had to have it replaced, because everytime Cathrine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about a half-hour or so. So, over at the VA, they had to replace it with a plastic one. It ain't as strong. So, I don't know if I ought to go sailing down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brain but a piece of government plastic."
Clark: "You really think it matters Eddie?"
Eddie: "Well, see the plate runs right underneath the part here. See, over here, nothing. But, here if this gets dented, then my hair just ain't going to look right."

And I also love Aunt Bethany, how she can't remember anything and gets her facts all screwed up, hilarious! :lol: I found a site that you can listen to the quotes..

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[j-monster]

Ha, I love this thread!

Another of my favourites is after the boss tells Clark to have that report done... "Merry Christmas, Merry... kiss my ass, kiss your ass, kiss his ass, Happy Hanukkah".

Great Christmas movie, my favourite of all time!